Christmas, Class and Questions

Things seem to be moving right along. My holiday anxiety, I mean spirit, is in full swing. My son had a positive conversation with Santa, I'm half wrapped and the tree is fully decorated as long as a particular two year old stops taking the ornaments off the tree. Next week we're gonna tackle the gingerbread house kit I purchased. That should be fun. In other news...

I managed to make it to my second class without a hitch. Maria developed a short, sweet and sassy pole routine for me. It's cute. I'll be able to pull it off at some point with some much needed practice. I'm a little bummed that there's no big vah-vah-voom trick in it. It's probably for the better since I am still getting tripped up on my hands and feet.  I'm the first one to admit that I am a beginner at best. My primary goal is to develop the strip tease routine first and then work the pole routine. By the way, Santa is supposed to bring me a pole--if I'm a good little Bunny. That should be lots of fun!!

  Maria and I had an interesting conversation about body hangs up and how our bodies have changed since we've had kids. Surprisingly, she has a lot more issues than I do when it comes to stripping. She never does it in her act, and let me just say, she doesn't need it to fall back on. Her pole routines are sexy, graceful and powerful in shorts and a t-shirt. I was a little taken aback, though, when she admitted that part of the reason she does not remove clothing while dancing is because she prefers her body shape in clothes. As I mentioned before she has a ballet dancer frame with legs that go for miles. I can't even be jealous of her; comparing us physically  is like comparing an apple to an orange pound cake. I'm the pound cake, in case you were wondering.

Pole dancing and strip tease are not directly related, cousins, maybe, at best. I wonder, though, is it necessary to take clothing off at all--ever--in performance? Is the strip an essential part of the strip tease or can you create a cabaret type dance number, scantily clad even, but not take anything off and accomplish the same level of sexiness? My initial thought is yes, most definitely. We've all seen someone walking down the street who exudes sexiness or is visually interesting at the least and they are completely clothed. Look at the popularity of Latin dance. Those couples drip with sex appeal and although the costuming is obviously meant to be suggestive they never need to get down to a g-string and pasties to do it.

There's also the beauty of implied nudity. On television, print and in movies we as an audience willingly suspend our disbelief and are often turned on by the suggestion of nudity--even though deep down we know better. Sally Rand, originator of the Fan Dance in burlesque is a prime example. I just finished watching the documentary Striptease: The Greatest Exotic Dancers of All Time which features Rand and a host of other legendary performers. Rand would perform her fan dance sometimes in the nude but many times in a flesh colored body suit. Both performances are gorgeous and you really can't tell the difference at all, in my opinion.

I just wonder--how did we get from showing our wrists and ankles to the Chicago World's Fair, where Ms. Rand's act debuted, to the Victoria's  Secret Fashion show, Lady Gaga and Neo-Burlesque? The obvious answer is the desires of a mostly male audience over the years must have influenced this. Along with the fact that most of the male comedians in burlesque moved on to successful careers on stage, screen and later television; while most, but not all, of the ladies were trying to find new ways to keep their acts going. I'm not sure that that is the whole story, though. Maybe as Europe's influence on American culture became stronger--since the Europeans have always been a little more bawdy and a little more open-minded than us.  Since it's our tradition as Americans to do everything bigger and better, we got more and more undressed. Interestingly,  burlesque went just about extinct at the dawn of the sexual revolution of the late 1950's and through the 1960's. I guess our tastes changed and our feelings about sexuality changed. So in response we created hard core pornography.......is that art? I don't think I'll even entertain that one right now. Can we go backward in time? Backward in thinking? Are we sexually aroused by Neo-Burlesque performers or are we taking a look into the nickelodeon? Does it matter..and if not, why do it?

As I said in an earlier post, I'm really trying to look at this as a new learning experience along with having some fun. One great educational resource is 21st Centruy Burlesque Magazine. I just read on of their featured columns by Beatrix Von Bourbon titled Striptease--Where is the Focus? . The article is what got me thinking of all this in the first place. In summation, the author asks what part of the tease informs the strip? In other words, she challenged her readers to think about the arc of their performances. Are they taking clothes off for the sake of the genre and why strip tease at all? It was really interesting for someone as green as myself.  I'm glad I read it now, so early in my adventure, because it will only help to inform anything I decide to do--or not do, for that matter.

Overwhelmingly I've discovered that performers past and present consider themselves true artists and pole dance, burlesque, strip tease--whatever label used--a valid art form. As do I. It's not so much in the strip but in the tease. The art of seduction, flirting, accentuating the female body, peaking the viewers interest, aesthetics--it's all there. Not to mention good general dance technique and stage presence. AND we haven't even touched on HUMOR. That's one of the things I love most about strip tease and one of the reasons I'm so interested to try it. It's a little ridiculous to get all dressed up and then take your clothes off in front of strangers. It borderlines on the absurd. We stopped performing our fertility dances a long, long time ago. I appreciate that the audience and performer are both in on the joke---it's silly and fun and to be enjoyed. It may be one of the only surviving aspects of burlesque in it's original form. Comedic or topical skits are not always featured in modern shows.

Anyway..I'm still not sure I answered my own questions--why remove clothing at all? Some performers choose to and some don't. Some peel a little, some take it as far as possible. I guess it's all a matter of personal choice and creative expression. With access to everything beautiful and grotesque on the internet you would think that no one would care to see a live show. That would obviously be a terrible, terrible shame. I'm glad to see that people still crave some of that live voyeuristic titillation and there is a vibrant community of artists bringing it to them in various forms.

By the way, my dress came today!!!! Early Christmas present as I was not expecting it for at least another week. It fits like a glove--which means I am not permitted to gain one--NOT ONE pound of holiday weight. I should actually lose four. No small task--remember, I'm the pound cake. It will be a good motivator. Besides, I'm gonna have to have something to take off, right??

MTV inspires a young Bunny to strip, sort of.

MTV and I grew up together. As a preschooler in the very early 1980's, my dad was laid off quite often and we spent a lot of quality time together. One of my most vivid memories as a three or four year old was watching MTV. It was new and my parents were into it so it was on in the background most of the time.

The first time I saw Boy George come across my television screen stopped me dead in my tracks. I was completely mesmerized by this beautiful, foreign creature making eyes at me. He was the most gorgeous woman I had ever seen, so different from my Mommy. It took me a little while to realize that he was, in fact, a "daddy". This only intrigued me more. The idea that someone could be so beautiful and interesting and be "playing pretend" was an amazing revelation that blossomed my curiosity. I loved Boy George even more for being a "daddy" but for wanting to be a "mommy". It gave me permission at an early age to be a weirdo. Since then, I have had a fascination and respect for drag queens as true artists. Their level of skill, attention to detail and commitment to the craft of impersonation is truly a marvel to me. I just love the over-the-top bordering on grotesque tongue in cheek spirit of what they do. They are as visually stunning as any piece of art.

Another early influence was the Gilbert and Sullivan operas. For some reason, PBS was showing a lot of Gilbert and Sullivan back in the day and I was immediately hooked-- my mom just went with it. The Mikado was my favorite at the time. The costumes, makeup and sets took me to a far off place-- sometimes even a little frightening to a small child. But here again, I got interested in Kabuki as a result--another type of performance art that can be subtle or over-the-top and challenging. Also an art form where not all is as it may seem---"daddy" is often pretending to be the "mommy". See a theme here? I mean, come on, I should have been watching Sesame Street. It's no wonder I'm interested in dressing up just to take it off in front of other people.

So all this led to my parents involving me in community theater at the age of five--which has been such a blessing for me. I really aspire to be like my parents in that respect. They always nurtured my interests and got involved in whatever I was doing. One of the earliest shows I was in was a community production of Gypsy; Arthur Laurents, Stephen Sondheim and Jule Styne's musical adaptation of the life of burlesque star Gypsy Rose Lee. I had a very, very small part in one of the opening scenes as "Balloon Girl"--a sweet little girl dressed as a clown covered with balloons. The scene takes place during a kiddie talent audition and Momma Rose will stop at nothing to get her two little starlets, Louise and most importantly, Baby June, into the show. By the end of the scene Momma Rose pushes "Balloon Girl" off into the wings, popping her balloons with a hat pin. That was it. That was my moment. Just as an aside--covering a "costume" in balloons and then popping them one by one to reveal what's underneath is a traditional burlesque act. It's difficult to cover a g-string and pasties with balloons but as I understand it, magnets are somehow involved.

The very best part of being in that show was the crew of kids around the same age who were in the same scene and then had nothing to do until the curtain call. So we all hung out together watching rehearsals but most of the time we went out on the front steps and did our own version. No one ever wanted to be Momma Rose or Herbie or Louise for that matter, we all wanted to be the burlesque strippers. They appear three quarters into the show right before Louise makes her reluctant transformation into Gypsy Rose Lee. They had great lines, great costumes, got lots of laughs and did an awesome musical number touting their individual burlesque acts. So about six or eight of us young girls, no older than seven or eight, would all fight to take turns doing our best impersonations of their number. We took it pretty seriously, we thought we were pretty good. I'm sure none of us understood the adult theme of what we were doing. To us, "sexy" or "stripper" meant funny, bold, outspoken woman who got to wear the best costume and have the best song. I actually thank God for that. In retrospect, it probably wasn't the most conventional way to introduce to the concept of sexuality to little girls but when I think about women we've become--we're doing pretty damn good for ourselves.

The opportunity to do the show a second time came many years later. I was cast in another community production, in the same theater, but now in the title role. The seven year old inside of me was doing cartwheels while the eighteen year old was a little besides herself. It came at a time when I decided I really wanted to study theater and wanted to act. I was already familiar with the show and thought it would "be a lot of fun". What I didn't anticipate was the hard work. I had been in tons of plays by that point and had taken dance and voice for many years. I never practiced outside of rehearsal or class for anything, ever. It just came naturally to me--or so I thought. At the same time, I was in the middle of all the body hang ups high school girls have while developing a sharper understanding of "sexuality" and all it entailed.

How was I going to do a strip tease in front of a live audience if I wasn't even comfortable in a bathing suit at the beach? I did a lot of dumb stuff to try to lose weight--unsuccessfully. I started to feel even more self conscious about my body and as the weeks of rehearsal went by, we had not blocked the strip tease sequences at all. Focusing on the character as a person, not just as lines and movements, I started to see some of her in myself. It was scary. I didn't know what to do with that. I didn't know how to use it towards my acting. I felt like everyone was counting on me to be good and I had no idea what I was doing. I should have asked for help. I should have insisted that the strip tease get rehearsal time every night so I felt more comfortable. I didn't. I didn't want to let on that I was scared and didn't want to let down the seven year old inside of me--she was slowly pulling the covers up further over her head. Someone should have reassured me a little. Someone should have given me positive feedback or coached me in some way--but there were costumes to sew, parents to please and ad space that needed taking care of. There was just not enough time. Where was Boy George when I needed him?

The show opened. It was good by community theater standards but I was never happy with it. The talents I had relied on to define much of who I felt I was had let me down . Melodramatic? Perhaps a little. It was good because I learned that no matter what you're doing, you have to do the work yourself. No one is going to hold your hand all the time--not even the people who love you most. Considering I was just about to devote a lot of time and money to these talents, the self doubt that creeped up on me did not serve me well. It help set into a motion a habit of constant self-critiquing and over-analyzing--one that my seven year old self is really sick and tired of.

So that, in part, is the story of how I came to love burlesque and why this project is so important to me now. I haven't watched MTV in years--it's a shame we've grown apart. I think they stopped playing music but I do have to give it some of the credit. So I am doing this for the seven year old me, the eighteen year old me and of course, for Boy George whose painted face was the catalyst for so much growth and so much lovely nonsense in my life.

Thanks,

Bunny

Next time: Myth, Legend, Grandmother.