Swan, Nematode or Peacock

I remember summer vacation from school seeming like it was a whole year unto itself. Magical transformations happened during the summer. Classmates emerged in the fall either a swan--with new boobs or a great haircut, or as nematodes--with acne and headgear.  This fall, friends,  I plan to emerge as a peacock (yeah I know the male peacocks are the fancy ones--that's just the rules of the animal kingdom--just go with the freakin' visual).

I don't know where to go now with the whole peacock thing....I'm not gonna strut around and make that horrible noise.....so let me lead in here by saying that some really cool opportunities have come my way recently. Opportunities that will take a lot of hard work over this summer and into the fall. Ones I couldn't have anticipated but that feel right--which are always the best kind of surprises.

As you know, in my life to the side of this project I am a mom and wife. I also have a very small business--another "side project" of sorts. This small business has the opportunity to expand and grown in ways I didn't think would be possible and yet I can almost reach out and touch it. Mind bending, fantastic and still not completely certain. Once I get a go ahead I will be posting on the progress on a (hopefully) regular basis.

I have applied for the Jim Thorpe Burlesque Boolesque   show coming up in October at the Sherman Theater. I should know by mid July--so keep your fingers crossed for me. I have started to develop my act, at least in my head, so look for more details on that later.

There is another absolutely amazing event happening in late fall that I plan on being a part of. One that will take Mrs. Bunny Bedford somewhere she's only daydreamed about! and.......

my little man is going potty. Like a professional.

While everything seems to be coming into focus, the consequences this new direction may have on my parenting has me a little worried and confused. I hadn't planned on going back to "work" at least for another 2 or 3 years until my son starts school. And of course my goal is to be the supermom with the work/life balance that allows me a fulfilling career and the ability to walk my son to and from school with fresh chocolate chip cookies and lemonade at the ready. This image, this ideal, is ingrained in me. As unrealistic and artificial I know it is--the stuff of Leave it to Beaver and Make Room for Daddy--I still think it's achievable. Even though in the back of my mind I know I'm probably setting my self up for failure. I am not alone in the crux of this dilemma. I know there are tons and tons of parents all around the world struggling with the same thing. For many reasons I like to be really, really hard on myself in this aspect of my life.

 I am going to have to take some time and reroute  my thinking. The possibilities are too bright and bold to toss away in favor of chasing Donna Reed's apron strings. My son may be better off with a peacock than a swan anyway.

Hopefully lots of exciting news to come!