I'll take my turkey with a side of guilt, please..

So by now I guess you figured out, if you follow along here, that I did not make it into The New York Burlesque Festival Star Search Show. Don't fret. There's always next year. Interestingly, I now find myself unable to participate due to other commitments. I've been keeping a stiff upper lip regarding the projects I'm currently involved in because of a couple loose ends that needed tying up.

I am incredibly proud to announce that I will be competing in the US Open Swing Dance Championship along with the cast of the Cross Country Cabaret Project! Held this November in Burbank, California it is one of the largest and oldest national dance competitions in the country. I will be performing in the Cabaret Division along with two of my fellow cast members, Jacqueline Hyde and Deb O'Naire. Our other cast member, Venus Mantrapp, has a prior commitment and will not be able to make it this time. I had the pleasure of working with all three ladies at the Jim Thorpe Burlesque Festival this past April and I'm really looking forward to taking on new projects with them!

The Cross Country Cabaret Project is unique in that the goal is to rotate burlesque and cabaret artists from the East Coast and West Coast to perform at different venues all over the country. Not only will this venture bring together dancers from across the country to share ideas and perform together but it will open the doors to many different types of performance experiences--be it competitions, private events or touring shows. Please visit the website if you get a chance. There is an area to contribute funds to get us off and running! Any donation is much appreciated.

Never in my wildest dreams, not even as a chubby little Bunny in ballet class, did I think I would ever  see a national dance competition, let alone participate in one! Never. Not even when I was dancing four days a week all through high school. Never. And now I find myself not only in the company of some very talented, funny, fabulous, professional women, but I get to go to California--which I've never seen-- and I get to dance!?

There's just one catch. There always is. I won't be home for Thanksgiving. Most likely I will be traveling on Thanksgiving. I could handle it better if I were a single person but this is going to mean leaving my husband and my little three year old pilgrim. I don't go very far without one or the other of them--ever--let alone on a holiday. 

At first I thought maybe we'd make a little family vacation out of it. We'd do the dance competition and then drive to Disneyland and do a couple days there before heading home. It sounded good until Mr. Bedford pointed out that perhaps a longer flight on the busiest travel day of the year was not a good time for a three year old's first experience on a plane. Perhaps, also, a dance competition would not be the most "fun" father-son adventure while Mommy would be off rehearsing and such. So the family decision was made that I would go on an adventure to California, and the boys will be spending Thanksgiving at home with Grammy and the rest of the crew.

As a dancer, I'm elated. As a mom, I'm feeling a little guilty. I'm having trouble reconciling the two. The California trip also forced me to "come out of the closet" to my in-laws, seeing as I would be suspiciously absent from the Thanksgiving table. The conversation went well. I did have to explain what cabaret dance was a couple times, and where I was going and then what burlesque is and how it's different from cabaret--"Oh, so you're a stripper..." no, no, no... "you take your clothes off, that makes you a stripper...." Ok. I could have belabored the point but at that moment, floating around the swimming pool with three generations of in-law women, they seemed to be really accepting of my "being a stripper". 

And no one, surprisingly, took any issue with me spending time and money to go off on a trip; leaving my poor defenseless boys on a major family holiday with not even a pan of brownies to bring for the dessert table. By lunch time it was a non-issue; for everyone except me. I made Mr. Bedford promise that we could schedule our own Thanksgiving the weekend after--construction paper Indian headdresses and pilgrim hats and all. 

To top it off, I think we have a really good chance of winning the Cabaret Division! It's a huge step in the journey and a lovely unexpected opportunity. I really want to do well, for myself and my colleagues. I also want to do well for all the moms who'll be sneaking another beer while stirring the gravy, avoiding family members in the kitchen and wishing to go some place warm for a holiday, just once.